You've Got Mail

If I could live in any movie world, I would choose to live out my days as Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail". I mean, a movie that includes Pride and Prejudice, a children's book store, Joni Mitchell music, Tom Hanks, twinkle lights, coffee... AND all the lead females wear tights every single day? I've not been to heaven, but it must be something like that.

I'm pretty sure that I could use a quote from the movie to answer almost any question you could ask. They're appropriate for almost any situation. For instance...

When at a party... "That caviar is a garnish!" When someone asks the importance of Starbucks... "so people who don't know who on earth they are or what in the world they're doing can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an utterly defining sense of self... Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!" When talking to your soulmate... "One hundred fifty-two insights into my soul!" When discussing finances... "If you need more, ask me. I'm very rich. I bought intel at 6." When complimented... "Thank your, ladies and gentlemen." When considering whether to read any Jane Austen novel... "Read it. I know you'll love it." When you need to make a hasty exit: "This place is a tomb. I'm going to the nut shop where it's fun." When discussing relationships... "Oh yeah, right, it's a snap to find the one single person in the world who fills your heart with joy." When shushed during a movie... "A HOT DOG is singing. You need quiet while a HOT DOG is singing?"

But there are also some real truths in YGM; things I think about in the dead of night. In fact, I believe I started this blog with one of them many moons ago. Like this: "Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open?" Or this: "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?" The irony, of course, is that so much of my life reminds me of something I watched on YGM, when shouldn't that be the other way around? I've never quite figured out the answer.

I could go on. It's the movie that, sad as it may be, sort of defines my life. What movie defines your life? In the words of Kathleen Kelly, "I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So, goodnight, dear void."

And so it begins...

You can only look at the screen for so long, wishing something would appear there, before you realize that you might as well just start and be done with it. I'm not positive why the task of "the first post" seems so daunting, but daunting it is. What if I sound too bookish? Not bookish enough? What if this new "hobby" has absolutely no inherent value? What if (perish the thought) there's a misspelled word in the VERY FIRST POST? All melodramatic and yet actual fears.

So, why throw my hat in the blogging ring anyway? Well, hmm. I think that, at least partially, the reasons will reveal themselves as time goes by. While I'm waiting for them, though, I can't help but think of a scene from my favorite movie of all time - You've Got Mail. (Sue me.) Joni Mitchell is singing about wishing she had a river she could skate away on, and Meg Ryan is hanging twinkle lights and popsicle ornaments from a little Charlie Brown tree and reminiscing about her mother and her valuable-but-small life. "So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?" I still think about that question, and I still am not sure of the answer. In any case, she finishes out by saying, "I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So, goodnight, dear void."

I suppose that that is what this blog will be for me. A place to throw out the things my overactive brain wonders. A place to share my somewhat unthought thoughts about the books I'm reading and the people I'm meeting and the places I want my life to take me. (It will likely also be a place to share the quite large collection of "grammatical atrocities" currently shoved into a manila folder in my office desk, but that hardly seems fitting here.) Maybe, somewhere in the void, someone will be interested in what I have to say. Maybe not. Either way is okay. Like Meg says, I don't really want an answer. Just sending it out there is enough.

So, goodnight, dear void.